My heart has broken open a little wider and my eyes opened as I saw the innumerable #MeToo posts pour in on my timeline over the past week. And not just from women whose stories I already knew or suspected, but from everyone. From women I would never have guessed had faced sexual abuse. From men in my life. Men who I know and love. People who are all living bravely with the memories of their trauma and who are now finding the courage to share their stories.
My intention isn’t to go into detail of my own stories, though there have unfortunately been several. My intention instead is to create the space for all of these brave and beautiful people to begin to explore (if they haven’t already) what comes after such an unthinkable violation. For many of us, what comes next is a long chapter of suffering, denial, shame, pain, blame, self-judgment, and agonizing isolation. But now that this campaign has created space for so many people to feel safe sharing their stories, they can begin to heal all of those feelings. And what I’m excited about are the possibilities that that healing creates. Because I know from personal experience that healing such a deep level of trauma creates the possibility for the deepest, most vast ocean of self-love and compassion that you could ever imagine.
The only way that I know to truly heal something of this magnitude is to bathe yourself in love. To allow the cracks that those experiences created to be filled with compassion, kindness, and the knowledge of your innate self-worth. To recognize that you did not deserve a single ounce of the suffering you endured, but that you do deserve every ounce of blessings and magic that this world has to offer. And to recognize that just because some people do unimaginably hurtful and devastating things to other humans, doesn’t make you broken or any less worthy to take up space here. If anything, this experience has the power to shape you into an even more loving and generous and beautiful person than you were before. Because as they say, the wound is the place where the light can enter.
It is also my intention to invite you all to explore the ways in which you may have covered up your pain all of these years. Whether it was through addictions to food, drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, or any other form of numbing out, or through isolating yourself from receiving love from others, or if you’re anything like me then through the guise of perfectionism. I want you to know now that you don’t need those crutches anymore. I have worked with many clients who have struggled with food addictions, overeating, bingeing, exercise addictions, and other disordered eating habits all in an attempt to mask the unresolved emotion of their past traumas. And the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen is watching them take their first breath of freedom when they become free of those self-imposed chains. So whatever it may be for you, I just want you to know it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. You’ve been brave long enough, and you are strong enough to let go. You deserve freedom. I do not say this to diminish the reality and legitimacy of your pain. I say this because on the other side of that, you will realize that you are so much more than your pain and your story.
Lastly I just want to say thank you. Thank you for your courage and vulnerability in sharing your story. Thank you for still being here after everything you’ve been through. Thank you for waking up and breathing each day. And thank you for committing to share more love on this planet, because if your story has taught you anything, it’s that everyone here could use a lot more love.
With so much love,